The Rax Files

My Sister's Ex - Cited by ESSENCE Magazine

2009-11-21T06:25:00.001-08:00

I was very excited when I learned that Essence magazine selected MY SISTER'S EX as one of the best reads of 2009 (check out the Dec. '09 issue). Editor Henry Patrik Bass gave his thumbs up, and for me, for me, this is thrilling and amazing.

If you haven't picked up your copy, it's not too late. I still see the book on the shelves at Border's and Barnes and Noble. Black Expressions magazine carries it too, as well as other online and brick and mortar stores across the nation. What I especially love is the support from so many libary systems. You can check out the print copy or listen to the audiobook.

Thanks so much for your suppoert. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Which of my books is my favorite?

2009-11-17T10:53:00.001-08:00

When an author writes multiple books, in general, he will love all his books for various reasons. But if I had to pick my favorite out of all novels that have been published so far, it would be MY HUSBAND'S GIRLFRIEND. I still can rememeber how that book came into existence. I could clearly hear the main characters' voices inside my head. Anya is kind of no nonsense. Neil is a little bit of a tight a#% in that outwardly he appears mature and sensible, but when he hooks up with the other woman, Dani, his love for her makes him lose his mind. And Dani, she's by far the character I've enjoyed writing the most. She is sooo naughty, sexy, child-like, bold, yet vulnerable and tragic. I love the story, the setting, the scenes, the characters, and the ending of MY HUSBAND'S GIRLFRIEND. If any of my books could be made into a film, this is the one I'd want to see up there. This is the novel that people ask about more than the others. It seemed so real I guess. At least in real life, in somebody's world out here, there is a true My Husband's Girlfriend.

FaceBook

2009-10-04T10:42:00.001-07:00

Not too long ago I joined FaceBook. Initially, I set up the page because I needed to establish one for my day job. I wanted to get a feel for it. And I wanted to see what the fuss was all about. Trust me, it's going to take a while to get used to FaceBook. I enjoy seeing people I haven't spoken to in a while. On the other, I pray I won't become addicted. I'm already consumed with so many other life-happenings. We'll see how things pan out.

http://www.facebook.com/people/Cydney-Rax/100000365044630

Woman, Stop Messing With My Man

2009-10-04T08:58:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone,
Here's a link to a radio interview conducted with S.B. Redd. I love talking about relationship issues. Enjoy...

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/maverick-media/2009/08/13/maverick-media-on-BTR

Author Cydney Rax Internet Radio Interview w/The Risque Cafe

2009-09-13T15:10:00.000-07:00

Yo,
I hope y'all take time out of your busy Sunday afternoon to listen in on my Risque Cafe Blog Talk Radio Interview | Sunday, September 13 | 5:30pm Central Standard Time

http://www.blogtalkradio.com/TheRisqueCafe/2009/09/13/Interview-with-Best-Selling-Author-Cydney-Rax

I've done a lot of these interviews and they're always fun and unique. If I'm not mistaken, we're doing a giveaway of some of my books.

See ya then.

Photos from Written Works Expo

2009-08-23T16:38:00.000-07:00

Author DeMonica Gladney was kind enough to share photos posted on photobucket.com. Several Houston area writers served on a panel at the Written Works Expo on August 22nd at the Kashmere Gardens Library.

http://s530.photobucket.com/albums/dd342/newhorizonpub/Written%20Works%20Expo/?track=share_email_album_view_click

2009-08-19T21:06:00.000-07:00

Black Excellence Book Club and McCrane-Kashmere Public Library
presents

THE WRITTEN WORKS EXPO
August 21-22 (2009)
Houston Public Library
McCrane-Kashmere Neighborhood Library
5411 Pardee
Houston, Texas 77026
832-393-2450

What is a "written works expo?" It is a community project which attempts to bring local African-American authors together to share their works with an interested public. Works such as fiction, poetry, short story, and more will be presented, and writers/authors will speak to maturing and/or up-and-coming writers/authors to guide them in the right direction. Such discussions will focus on improvement of the craft, publishing, editing, and selling.
Meet your favorite author or poet and have your book signed!
Get connected with all the information you need. If you are a writer, book lover, or someone who loves to meet authors, come and enjoy what Black Excellence Book Club and McCrane-Kashmere Neighborhood Library has to offer.

Writers and authors who will be present during the event include:

DeMonica Gladney, author of Willing to Wait.

Geri Guillaume, author of Winter Fires and Her Brother's Keeper.

Sheila Dansby Harvey, author of Illegal Affairs and Bad Girls Finish First.

Cydney Rax, author of My Daughter's Boyfriend and My Husband's Girlfriend.

Courtney Lamont Smith

Brandis Thomas

ATTENTION Authors and Writers: There is no standard registration fee/rate for an author table. To attend, email your information to darryl.kiser@cityofhouston.net or call 832-393-2450 and bring your materials to the event. You will be able to meet-and-greet and publicize your works to the Kashmere community, Houston Public Library users, local book clubs, the Neighborhood Civic Club, schools, and more.

Refreshments will be available.

To register for a table, download and fill out the form below, and email it to Darryl Kiser at darryl.kiser@cityofhouston.net or fax it to him at 832.393.2451 or mail it to:

McCrane-Kashmere Neighborhood Library
5411 Pardee
Houston, Texas 77026

Woman, Stop Messing With My Man

2009-08-04T18:52:00.001-07:00

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a woman goes out of her way to try and steal someone else's man. Please join me and S. B. Redd during his BlogTalkRadio Show on Weds., August 12th. We're going to get down and dirty and openly discuss why some women go to any lengths to pursue relationships with men who are already taken. We will also be discussing my new novel MY SISTER'S EX. If you're a female and have ever chased someone else's man, we'd love for you to call in (or listen in). At any rate, I look forward to thoroughly discussing this topic and more.

What: Maverick Media (on Blog Talk Radio)

When: Wednesday nights 10 p.m., eastern; 9 p.m., central; 8 p.m., mountain, 7 p.m., pacific

Show's duration: 60 minutes

Call-in number: 347.215.9680

Show topic: Woman, Stop Messing with My Man!

Show's website/chatroom: www.blogtalkradio.com/maverick-media

Maverick Media (on Blog Talk Radio) statistics:

Since June 2009, Maverick Media (on BTR) has consistently ranked among BTR's top five shows in the entertainment category, and it has peaked at the No. 1 spot among entertainment shows for at least one day the following weeks: 7.8.2009 thru 7.10.2009; 6.23.2009; from 6.16 thru 6.18.2009; and from 6.10 thru 6.12.2009. (The are more than 250,000 original shows on BTR; more than 25,000 new shows each month on BTR; there are more than 10,000 hosts on BTR.)

And since the week of 5.13.2009, Maverick Media (on BTR) has consistently ranked among BTRs 20 most popular shows overall, peaking as high as No. 6 (7.30.2009), No. 9 (6.11.2009), No. 12 (6.25.2009, 7.16.2009, 7.31.2009), and No. 15 (7.9.2009, 7.30.2009).
As of July 1, 2009, Maverick Media (on BTR) averages more than 1,000 daily downloads and more than 7,000 downloads per weekly show installment. That translates to more than 30,000 listeners each month; a download/impression occurs every 90 seconds. (Blog Talk Radio boasts of more than 4 million listeners each month for all the shows that are hosted on this medium.)

Past guests:

Marvin Cobb, former NFL player and college athletic department administrator

Lloyd Gite, former television reporter and freelance journalist

Brenda Russell, Grammy-award nominated performer

Jesse J. Holland, reporter for the Associated Press; he covers the U.S. Supreme Court

Chris Barnes, professional bowler, future PBA Tour hall of famer, candidate for the PBA's bowler of the decade (2000-2009).

Take care and "see" ya next week.

Cydney Rax
Author of My Husband's Girlfriend
www.cydneyrax.com

Winners of MY SISTER'S EX Contest (& More)

2009-07-23T04:40:00.000-07:00

Below is the list of the readers who won an advance copy of MY SISTER'S EX.

Phyllis Jackson of Jamaica, NY
Shameka Warren of Houston, TX
LaMonica Jones of Washington, DC
Tamica Gatling of Ft. Eustis, VA
Marla Ofor of Houston, TX

Congrats to all the winners. Sale date for MY SISTER'S EX is Tues., August 4th. If you do get a chance to get a copy of the book and read it, please make sure to post your review on Amazon.com, BN.com, Borders.com, or any number of other review sites. You are also welcome to post your comments on my blog.

Here is a link to a brief sample of my new novel:

http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307454409&view=excerpt

This Stuff In My Books Are Real

2009-07-04T06:06:00.000-07:00

I was just going through many e-mails that were written by folks who've read my books. And every so often I come across "fan" mail that confirms many things. My book titles and topics may seem implausiable to some, but people in real life are going through baby mama drama, women who are going after their men, or they know someone in that very situation.

Without telling all their business, some readers, especially my male readers, are very forthcoming about the struggles they have in their own marital relationships. Married yet sexless. Men who have met "Dani's" in real-life and were so drawn to his "Dani" that he couldn't give her up. Bottom line, this stuff is real. It's just that we don't talk about it because it is humiliating. And feeling humiliated is totally understandable.

But it's good to be able to discuss these issues.

Right now I am going to share a Dear Abby column that completely represents what I'm trying to convey about what people endure behind closed doors:

DEAR ABBY:

I am 43, the mother of four children and just celebrated my 20th anniversary. Is it normal for someone to be married all this time and still not want your husband to see you naked?
I do not reveal myself to him. The lights must always be off, and I keep a shirt on. It's not because I am ashamed of my body; it's that I'm not attracted to him. I never was.

I married my husband for security and have learned to love him. But I love him like a brother, in a sisterly kind of way. I feel I owe him.

Should I tell my husband how I feel and risk losing my security after all this time? I had to talk to someone, so I confided in my best friend. She advised me to say nothing.

My husband had an affair a few years ago, and frankly, I was secretly relieved. Sometimes I wish he was still with her. Now that it's over, I'm back in hiding. Abby, please advise. -- HIDING IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR HIDING: What a sad situation. By marrying your husband feeling as you did, you have cheated both of you. Not only have you "not revealed" yourself physically, you have not revealed yourself emotionally or in any other way. You wish he was still with his lover because it took the pressure off you.

Your husband had an affair because instinctively he knew something important was missing in your marriage, and if you were happy you would not have written to me. What you have described is not a marriage; it is an "arrangement."

My advice is to talk to your husband about making another kind of arrangement -- one in which he supports the children and possibly makes some kind of settlement with you, while you both pursue your separate lives. Frankly, it won't be much different than what you are already experiencing.
copyright Jeanne Phillips 2009

Okay, this situation says a lot. This wife did not want to have sex with her own hubby, for her own reasons. And she's glad he had sex with another woman so she didn't have to. Wow! What you may not put it with another woman will (bad grammar, but you know what I'm trying to say).

I'd love to generate a discussion.

What are some things you're shocked you've put up with in your own relationship. We ALL do this!! :-) We may be embarrassed to admit it, but we do.

Like, do you tolerate your current man's need to stay in touch with his ex-girlfriends? That's a good one!! Let's talk about it.

My Best Friend and My Man

2009-03-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

MY BEST FRIEND AND MY MAN

Read an excerpt

Buy the book

My Best Friend and My Man is endorsed by

USA Today

The things women will do–to men and to each other–in search of loveVeron Darcey is a twentysomething African American woman who wants it all: a successful career, an upwardly mobile life, and a loving, attentive man. But the last few men Veron has been with have either added her to their five-woman rotation or relegated her to the dreaded “just friends” zone.After one particularly bad date, Veron caves in and asks her best friend, Demetria Sparks, to share her secrets. Demetria is a gorgeous woman who has something special–men line up to paint her toenails and lavish her with Caribbean cruises and diamond rings. Demetria tries to give Veron a mind-and-body makeover, but sweet Veron struggles with being aggressive. And when Demetria demonstrates her method on Veron’s dream guy, Seaphes, his lack of interest provokes her to pull out all the stops–and forces Veron into a fierce competition between mentor and student. With pressure (and sexual tension) mounting, Veron begins to wonder if changing herself is a mistake. But is it too late to back off her new game now that she’s gotten a juicy taste of just what she’s capable of?

REVIEWS

“Whatever’s in the water in Houston, Cydney Rax should drink eight glasses a day.” --Patrik Henry Bass, Senior Editor, Essence Magazine

My Best Friend and My Man glows with sexuality, warmth and drama! Cydney Rax has done it again! --T. Styles, Essence Magazine bestselling author of A Hustler’s Son and Black and Ugly

I really enjoyed My Best Friend and My Man. There are some parts where Cydney has you laughing out loud and others where you want to reach in and throttle the characters. Cydney has another hit on her hands! --Desiree Day, author of Crazy Love and One G-String Short of Crazy

Smart, sexy and wickedly funny! Once again, Cydney Rax displays her keen ability to weave a story of romance and mayhem with characters that you'll both love…and love to hate.--Nancey Flowers, Essence Magazine bestselling author of No Strings Attached

My Husband's Girlfriend

2009-03-28T19:36:00.000-07:00

A celibate husband and wife are the two most dangerous people on earth . . .Neil and Anya Meadows are stuck in a sexless marriage. Anya suffers from a hormonal disorder that leaves her with no sex drive at all, while Neil has a voracious sexual appetite. After one unfulfilling encounter too many, they make a deal: Neil will be allowed to have a mistress, but only for oral sex and only twice a month. And he’s forbidden to fall in love with her.Things don’t exactly work out as planned. Neil and his mistress Danielle have a child together, and all of them—Anya, Neil, Danielle, the new baby, and Neil and Anya’s daughter—decide to live together as Houston’s most complicated blended family. The tension builds as each is forced to make difficult choices, as well as to come to terms with the past—and the future.Fast-paced, provocative, and sexy, My Husband’s Girlfriend explores issues of morality, emotional ties, family, love, and monogamy, and is an eye-opening novel about the complexity of modern love.

Read an excerpt

Buy the book

REVIEWS

Publishers Weekly

"Rax manages the fallout...with insight, zip and wit, and airs multiple conflicts within black middle-class life in compelling detail."

DisilgoldSoul Magazine
One of the most provocative, entrancing and insatiable naughty novels of the year has arrived. Cydney Rax is on her way to being a serial bestseller as the author of the reigning book, "My Daughter's Boyfriend."

Ann Brown of RAWSISTAZ.com
Cydney Rax has opened Pandora's box...My Husband's Girlfriend is an explosive story about the sanctity of marriage, infidelity and the other woman; it will evoke lively discussions.

Marissa Monteilh, author of Make Me Hot

“My Husband’s Girlfriend is a heartfelt special delivery of faith and doing the right thing. Rax has penned a moving, poignant example of the true measure of a woman.”

MY THOUGHTS ABOUT MY HUSBAND'S GIRLFRIEND

This novel is my favorite. I love the story, the characters, the writing style, and the emotional depth.
I received criticism regarding the storyline. Some said it was so implausible. But when I began receiving emails from readers who were in that situation, or know people who were going through the things my characters went through, it confirmed that people go through all kinds of situations behind the scenes. That just because a reader hasn't heard of a scenario before, doesn't mean it's not happening to someone else in real life.
This is the book that male readers respond to the most. As a matter of fact, they confessed that many married men would love to have a wife who doesn't mind if the hubby has a girlfriend.
People write and say "Why don't you turn this into a movie?" Oh okay, sure thing. Right away. No prob!
The sequel to this novel will be released in summer 2010. Can't wait!

Gearing Up for My Fourth Novel

2009-03-28T18:50:00.000-07:00

It's almost April 2009. Life has been so very busy, so utterly dramatic, that sometimes I can't even believe half the things that happen. New prez. Changed economy. New ways of using the Internet. New job responsibilities. Oh, and a new book!! Wow, about ten years ago I remember feeling anxious about getting into the publishing industry. I wanted to be a novelist. Wanted to do what the other writers were doing. Back then you'd walk into the library or the bookstore and would find stories by Sandra Kitt, Bebe Moore Campbell, Connie Briscoe, Omar Tyree, Sheneska Jackson, E. Lynn Harris, and Marita Golden. Back then the idea of books by and about black people seemed so pure. Pure in that it was like a brand new thing. At least that's how it felt to me. Back then was different, way different, than now. We only had a few shelves of books, and we were so happy to be able to read those books. Now we have rows and rows, entire sections, in the bookstore and the library. And there's no way on earth anybody can read every book written by African American authors. Not anymore. Too many books. And not enough time.

So, the fact that I have a new novel coming out this summer, is amazing. It's like my dream is still in motion. And that is a wonderful feeling.

My Sister's Ex will be released on Tuesday, August 4th (Barack Obama's birthday). The story of two siblings who must sort out raw feelings over a two-timing Casanova named Jeffrey Williams. Some elements of this novel may be considered classic Rax, but there's still something different about it. This time around, I got to explore family dynamics in a way that I haven't done before. Family drama is real. Family drama can be scary, frustrating. Emotional. Life-changing.

So make sure and mark the date on your calendar. Add My Sister's Ex to your wish list. Read the novel. And, if you're a brave soul, let me know if you have your own personal testimony about a sister and an ex-boyfriend.

Book Titles

2008-01-06T06:53:00.000-08:00

Just popping in early Sunday morning to break out a discussion regarding titling books. As you know my book titles are:

My Daughter's Boyfriend
My Husband's Girlfriend
My Best Friend and My Man

Now, cutting to the chase: some readers LOVE my titles, think that they are catchy and are intrigued enough to put the books on their shopping list, etc. Others, as I am starting to find out, are wondering what the heck is going on and why do I name my books in this manner, yada yada.

One lady wrote me and said that the titles don't leave room for imagination and am I going to consider changing how I do things.

Which brings me to this -- titles sell books. An author or a publisher is trying his or her best to choose a title that will immediately click with a potential reader. You want your titles to stand out. You want it to perfectly convey the gist of your story. I am 100% aware that my books reach a certain target market so, of course, there will be readers that automatically pass up my books because they may be turned off by the content, titles, etc. And that's fine. I don't believe there is any book that every single person on earth is going to want to read. Not even Harry Potter and these sell millions (yet I've never read an HP book).

So I know my audience. And it is true that it takes several books before your readers find you. It takes years to build an audience. And usually the way to do that is by carving out a niche in the literary world -- a niche that identifies you as an author. Carl Weber, Kimberla Lawson Roby, Zane, Noire, Shannon Holmes, Victoria Christoper Murray, and countless others (well maybe not countless) but lots of authors have successfully managed this. I think it is too risky to write 7 books and all of them are drastically different from one another. You're dividing up your audience when you do that. So long story short, in order to build your career, in the beginning you're looking for consistency so people can know who you are, what you write.

A little history - when I was unpublished and first wrote My Daughter's Boyfriend, I had no idea that anyone would want to publish the book. It wasn't like I purposely said "I'm going to write lots of books that start with the word MY". That wasn't the case. I knew that MDB was a catchy title from the jump. The agent loved it and so did my publisher. And that is the reason I got my foot in the publishing door in the first place.

My second title My Husband's Girlfriend was actually created by my then editor. So I didn't name the book. My title was The Arrangement. But she actually started this trend for my books and I am grateful. It works! My books consistently sell. No, maybe not 100,000 per title but I have sold 100,000 copies collectively (or at least 100,000 are in print). The point is the publisher knows how to market my books. They know what they are doing and I am glad about that.

Now, at this point I have no idea what a 7th or 8th title would be. Not there yet. Hope to be there, but we'll see. I love writing books, love meeting fans, love it when people email me and say how much they enjoyed my books, how they are addictive, and how they connected to the story. These are the people that inspire me. I write for them. The ones that get it. Now, for the ones who don't, I'm sorry that they read the books and take it so seriously. They act like the characters existed in real life (LOL) and have a major attitude. But that's fine because my books are very emotional. You're going to feel pissed off when you read my books. And that is an amazing feat to me -- to take unreal people, fictional situations -- and cause readers to experience a myriad of strong, (STRONG) emotions, that sometimes sends them over the edge. Whew! Scary!

And the title, the cover, the storyline are what makes a reader pick up my book in the first place.

The next novel My Best Friend and My Man, same thing. You kinda sense what the book is about, but it won't be 100% predictable. (Hope not anyway, that would be scary too).

I'm currently reading a book called Why Black Men Love White Women. Hey, I love the darned title. It drew me in. And the book is fascinating and not what you think, it has surprises. The title is catchy. Some will write it off immediately without having read one word. Their loss. Take a chance though. Pick up a book with a title that makes you upset. You might be pleasantly surprised!

Signing off now...to finish reading a book with a controversial title.

Trapped in Blogger Hell

2007-12-10T03:36:00.000-08:00

I am so excited because I haven't blogged in a year and the reason why is so silly it is embarrassing. Since Google took over Blogger, it confused me something terrible. And I never could remember my password --- until just now. Yayyyyyyyyy! So I haven't nothing special to talk about. Just excited that I cracked the code and got through.

While I'm here I want to mention that my third novel MY BEST FRIEND AND MY MAN will be released on June 3, 2008 in trade paperback. It is another taboo relationship novel that deals with men's and women's issues. I like the book and pray that you do as well. Here's a link:

http://www.amazon.com/My-Best-Friend-Man-Novel/dp/0307393771/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1197286758&sr=8-1

Pre-sales book orders by bookstores are good and that is exciting to me. I was told by my agent that it takes several books before you can build an audience, before readers find out who you are. Thankfully, I am not sick of the writing business or anything like that and I still have a strong desire to write books, be published, connect with readers, all that.

Please let me know what you've been up to. Oh, before I forget, join me on MySpace (http://www.myspace.com/cydneyrax). I have been having a good (and interesting) time on this site too.

Take care.

Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas (it feels good to say that), and Happy New Year.

Ignorant Readers / "Reviewers"

2006-11-26T06:34:00.000-08:00

Woo, I hope I do stir up some discussion for what I'm about to drop in this post. One thing I do not like or understand is so-called 'reviewers' who really aren't reviewers because they haven't even read the book or seen the movie but yet have opinion. STOP! Stop it now. It is sooo annoying for people to blast a book they've never ever read, or don't plan to read yet they can voice their viewpoints?? WTF? Reviews should be done by people that have read the entire book. Not by someone that figures upfront it won't be worth their time. If it's not, get to stepping and let a true reader do his or her thing.
Another thing, please do not post every single plot twist in a review. WHY?? LOL. When you do that, you take away their desire to read a book or see or movie. Why should they at that point? They already know everything that's going to happen. The suspense has been removed. Ugh!
So do us authors a favor. Don't past judgement on things you don't know about it. Don't post reviews on what you've heard someone else say. Do read the whole book not just the first chapter and give it a rating. You aren't really qualified to post a rating based on a chapter. And if you don't like something, that's fine, but never tell someone 'don't waste your money.' That's an ignorant statement. Why? Because why would you care what other people do with their money. It's not yours. You don't have the right. I know that is a statement that some people tend to put in their comments, but it is totally irrelevant and unnecessary. :)
Okay, I'm about to get off my soapbox. Right now I'm reading Hood Rat by K'wan, my introduction to this author's work. I'm also working on my third book titled How To Be His Number One. And thanks to each of you that do read my books and have listed them as favorites. Thank God someone out there is feeling me!!! :)
Take care,
CR

MySpace.com

2006-03-26T14:54:00.000-08:00

I don't know much about MySpace.com, but I just wanted to send a shout out to those folks that set up shop on that website -- and who have also mentioned My Daughter's Boyfriend as a book they've read and/or recommend. I really LOVE seeing my mentioned book on these personal sites, but I have no way to thank the people unless I join/sign up/create an account, and that's not about to happen. LOL. Sooooooooo thanks for making me smile. My readers always sprinkle some sunshine my way. Kisses to ya!! ---cydney rax

I finally have some good news

2006-01-30T18:04:00.000-08:00

On the author tip, I learned today that my first lil book MY DAUGHTER'S BOYFRIEND has finally earned out its advance and I will be getting a royalty check. A nice unexpected chunk of change. This is absolutely one of the best things that can happen to a writer. And one thing I've never wanted to do is cause my publisher to lose money because I wasn't able to earn out my advance. But thank God, folks have been buying the book, especially the paperback edition and it's now in its second printing. So again, thank you to everyone that has been so supportive of MDB. I have really enjoyed visiting a few Houston area book clubs -- these ladies make me laugh sooo hard. Like The Sistah Hood Book Review, Brownstone Book Club, and others. We have so much fun and I love hearing the ladies diss my characters and talk about what they did, and how Tracey was so hated etc., It is amazing how readers look so far into a book in a way that an author doesn't intend and they pick up on things that even I hadn't thought about. Soooo, I am counting my blessings today -- and to me, earning royalties is a nice bonus because I try not to worry about how my book is selling. I don't hustle (shhh, don't tell anybody), I try not to get caught up. I just depend on word of mouth, and pray, and que sera sera. You simply can't control every aspect of the author life. You gotta let go of things and just enjoy each experience good or bad. And that's what I'm doing and what I hope to continue to do for the rest of my life.

Win an Oscar, Get a Divorce

2006-01-10T04:15:00.000-08:00

Academy Award Winner Hilary Swank and her hubby Chad Lowe are separating --- another couple standing in the snaking line of the Hollywood Divorce Court. I just wonder what is it about Hollywood, or success perhaps, that makes it seems a relationship's demise is inevitable. Yes, I was shocked when Nick and Jessica split up (I really hate believing the tabloids and I rejected all their juicy little know-it-all rumors). I wasn't suprised by the break up of Gabrielle Union and her husband. And like most others, yeah, I was shocked that Brad Pitt would leave Jennifer. What's the world coming to? And God forbid, the February issue of Ebony Magazine just hit the street - the issue where they proclaim the 10 hottest black couples. I really detest that type of story because a lot of times we don't know what is going on behind closed doors when it comes to a famous couple's relationship. We are in awe of their love, we envy how he treats her like a queen, but is he beating her like a fiend when no one is looking? Oh well, I guess that's the point of this all. Never assume that a couple is truly happily in love. Next thing you know, you'll be reading about their busting up in some newspaper. It happens!

I've Been Tagged About Writing

2005-12-07T04:04:00.000-08:00

Author Nikki Woods (Easier Said Than Done) tagged me about my writing/reading life. My assignment is to provide interesting facts about this aspect of my life.

WRITING

I always have a Super Thesarus right next to me whenever I write.
For me a lot of the writing involves thinking. Hearing dialogue in my head, pondering characters.
I'm probably one of the few folks that doesn't go by that 'write every day' motto.
I like writing very early, 5am, when it's totally quiet in the house.
There's definitely an inner critic that likes to follow me around and whisper things in my ear.
I never try to be like someone else. Like in the early days I would pretend like I was so-and-so. What would he do if he were writing this scene? Trust me, it doesn't work, trying to be someone else. So from now on, I'm just me. I write how I write, allow what is inside to come out, and know that I can only be the best Cydney Rax; that's my job.
I typically do not listen to music while writing a boo, especially when doing the first draft.
It takes me two years to work on projects. I'll have an idea years before I actually get to write the book; I have never 'thrown' a book together.
When I write I feel like a reader, not a writer, meaning I am surprised, disgusted, intrigued by my characters' actions, just like a reader would be.

READING LIFE

Man oh man, the year 2005 has been the year that I DIDN'T read alot of books. In past years, I could get to 3-4 books per month. Now it's like one book every few months. This year has been incredibly busy, distracting, difficult for me to concentrate. Awful. Once I finish up on my 2nd novel (My Husband's Girlfriend) I plan to read quite a few books in late December early January.
You know, even though I don't read a lot of novels, nothing keeps me from newspapers and magazines. I love Essence, Today's Black Woman, Sister2Sister, Charisma, US Weekly, People (Love entertainment news), Jet, Ebony, Writer's Digest, etc.
Sometimes I avoid reading other people's manuscripts because 8 times out of 10 they have written a scene or have character names that are identical to mine and I don't want anyone to think I'm copying their idea.
I miss the good old days of reading, when I was discovering some of the authors that are now quite successful. I miss going to this black bookstore called Main Street Books, when I first grew hip to black novels. I felt so very excited, like I walked right into heaven, just looking at the books with wide eyes and happy to know that there were a lot of black authors out there that I didn't know about.
I get tired of reading my own material. When you write books and work on them for months and years, by the time it comes out, your mind is really focused on the NEXT book.

Why do some people refuse to believe?

2005-11-20T15:37:00.000-08:00

Okay, this is a post that might make some people uncomfortable, but I LOVE these type of topics. If you want to know who I am, read this blog. You see, I attend a wonderful church in Houston, and lately the series topic is called, IN GOD WE TRUST. And the pastor asks, do we really trust in God, or is it something that's just inscribed on dollar bills. Now, the reason why I really want to bring up this topic of believing in God is because I was looking at the news yesterday. And, as usual, a group of atheists are demanding that the government remove the words IN GOD WE TRUST off of our currency. I got mad. Turned off the TV. And pretty much forgot about it. But today, I am thinking, pondering within myself. Why do some people refuse to believe in God? Why do they expend so much energy claiming that He doesn't exist. And that when people pray, they're wasting their time, talking to the air, etc. One part of me feels sorry for unbelievers. And, to me an unbeliever is different from someone who is weak in faith. A weak in faith person believes in God (in general), but maybe they don't practice their faith on a daily basis. God isn't consuming their heart or mind, but they believe in the Higher Power. On the other hand, an atheist is a person that believes in his heart that there is no God. These people are considered FOOLS according to the Bible. Fools is a strong word.

Now, I for one KNOW that God is everything He says He is. For me it is a JOY to know that the very God that created heaven, earth, everything in it, including man, is alive. He talks to me, he answers prayer, he delivers me when I'm in trouble, he comforts me when I feel afraid, etc. It is a real, powerful, life-changing relationship and I love having that. And I wonder, why wouldn't everyone want this? This is sooo cool. It's fun. Because true believers in God have a special relationship; we have awesome benefits that can't be matched by any Fortune 500 company. I mean, I get chills when I realize all the great things we have by trusting in God. (Eg. I will never leave you nor forsake you; casting all your care on Him for he careth for you;I can do exceedingly abundantly above all that you can ask or think; My God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory). And it goes on and on and on.

The fact that we can enjoy all these great benefits brings me to this -- some people, atheists, refuse to believe. Why? Because belief means responsibility. It means accountability. In a way, I understand that. No one wants to be accountable these days. We want to do what we want to do, and blame everything else when stuff won't go our way. If we kill someone and it's captured on videotape, we plead Not Guilty. If we lie and claim we are victim of Hurricane Katrina just to get a FEMA check, we say we needed that money. If we fall and slip on a banana outside Wal-Mart, we file a multi-million dollar lawsuit (except people don't realize until later that we planted the alleged banana).

If we are a kid that doesn't something our parents don't like, we lie, or admit we did wrong, but who the heck wants to get a spanking, or be put on a two-week punishment? Very few. So in a way, this is how an atheist thinks. He thinks that if he refuses to believe in God, no matter what, then he won't be accountable. He can live his life however he chooses without consequence. Ha ha. I wish that were so. The laws of God are like this - whether you believe in His existence or not, He is. You can refuse to believe till your brain explores. Nothing changes who God is. Kinda like what goes up, must come down. That's a law. And even if you refuse your best to believe it, it still IS.

I don't know, call me crazy but I think it's much easier to give in and believe in God and find out how awesome He really is, than to spend your entire life doding Him, fighting against Him, just to take your last breath and, well you know the rest. Losing my soul isn't worth it. My soul is too valuable to waste my time hoping that something as critical as believing in God is just a fairy tale.

Now, MTV, that's a fairy tale. People Magazine, the Weather Channel, the Lotto, and all these other things that people put their trust in, those kind of things are nothing, you can't stand on them. They won't save you. Bragging about your $5 million dollar party on South Beach, bragging about how you sold a million books, being proud of the fact that you own 25 buildings in Manhatten (al la Trump), none of that means a thing when you're about to meet your Maker.

I don't know about you but I want to go to heaven when I die. Nothing else is acceptable. LOL. So on this day, for the rest of my life, I choose to believe, I want to believe and even if I do something I shouldn't do (and that will happen), I can let the Lord reprimand me now instead of finding out what the big punishment will be later on down the road.

Think about it.

When it comes to men and women, who should pay what?

2005-10-17T08:52:00.000-07:00

Okay,

If you are with a guy, either married or living together, how should the bills be split? Are couples still doing things the old-fashioned way (he pays rent, car notes, major bills); she may buy clothes, groceries, setting money aside for emergencies. What if she makes more money than he does? Does that automatically mean it's her job to foot the majority of the bills? What if both folks want new cars? Do you pay your own car insurance and car notes? Help a sista out...Times is hard. Gas is high. And a loaf of bread don't cost what it used to. LOL.

10 Things You Need to Know About Men

2005-09-14T19:20:00.000-07:00

I was casually reading Redbook Magazine tonight and came across an article that cracked me up. Written by a sex columnist named Anka Radakovich, here in a nutshell, are her 10 intriguing discoveries about men. I'm paraphrasing what she says (don't want to take away her credit but you can find the true article in the Oct. 2005 mag).

(I love men, don't understand them, they drive me crazy, and I thought you'd get a kick out of this).

Men can't resist the tease - In other words he loves to be visually stimulated through strip teases; one thing can definitely lead to another.
Men are big kids and proud of it - No matter how old they get, don't they resort to childish behaviour. Cute, but childish? They like buying toys -- so they can play with them instead of handing the toys over to their children.
Men can't help but stare at other women - I guess this is good, if you're a woman that likes to be the center of attention. Being admired by ogling eyes is good for the ego - and yes, married men will stare you down too so don't be shocked. And they probably enjoy being stared at too -- as long as the stare doesn't say "Eww you are so gross." The article states that even male gorillas stare at female gorillas. So staring females down just comes naturally I guess. So if you catch a man staring at you, just say, "Eww you remind me of a gorilla" and watch him give you a blank look.
Men would love to cheat - Now I believe this one. Most men want a wife and an affair. Isn't that ideal? They would be willing to cheat more as long as they are guaranteed not to get caught. Well, who wouldn't want this? Surprisingly, some men just won't be interested even if given the perfect opportunity.
Men are perverts - Hmm. Pervert. Sexually freaky. Secretly unhibited. FREAKS.
Men want us to worship them - Okay, this is true, even if the guy screws up big time, he wants you to think he is a genius. In other words, LIE!
Men love oral sex - I guess men want their fairshare of the good times too, huh?
Men don't take hints - Now this is the one thing I know for a fact. I don't care how old the man is, what kind of degree he has, has many sisters he has, he is going to be very dumb when it comes to taking a hint. You will get very discouraged if you try to slyly suggest something to a man and expect him to get it. In other words, do yourself a favor-S P E L L it out. Otherwise you are wasting your time and he'll wonder why you have such a rotten attitude. It's maddening but reality. They just don't get it sometimes.
Men love their penises - Hmm, maybe this fascination starts when they're toddlers and are discovering different body parts. And I don't care how small the man is, he thinks he has it going on. Sometimes attitude and confidence make up for other shortcomings huh?
Men don't get Valentine's Day - most men won't get it. They underestimate the importance of a woman feeling valued through him going out of his way to buy her a card, flowers, box of candy, etc. A man thinks it's silly but a woman takes his gestures as a measure of his thoughtfulness and concern about her. I've seen so many men, with frowns on their faces, scouring the greeting card aisle every Feb. 14th - and he's probably buying a card so he won't have to hear his wife (or girlfriend, or mistresses) mouth.

http://www.redbookmag.com

I'm a Looter, Not a Finder

2005-09-14T18:25:00.000-07:00

Okay, which news organization(s) were the first to depict black folk as looters and white folk as finders? And they say that black people are overly sensitive about race issues. I wonder why...?

I Know What It's Like to be Rescued From Water

2005-09-08T19:12:00.000-07:00

Some things you never forget. It was a hot summer day in Michigan. A slew of family members, including uncles and cousins, decided to spend the day at the lake. I was four years old. My brother Michael was around 6, and the youngest daughter, Adrienne, was 3. From what I can recall, my parents and the rest of the kin hung out on the beach. Then my Uncle Mike suggested we all go for a boat ride. My dad was the one that stayed behind. At first being in the boat was fun. It was fast, we were moving. But then the movement stopped. My Uncle said the boat was sinking and everyone needed to stand up. I can still remember this. Four years old; one minute you're in a big boat, the next minute you're tossed into a lake. I remember going under, hearing sounds that resembled the beating of a drum, then coming up for air and screaming "Help". My eyes were closed. I was scared. I couldn't swim. But I had on an orange life preserver. It seemed we were in the water for so long, but after a while an elderly white couple rescued us. I was cold and shivering but glad to be out of the water. My mother lost her shoes, glasses and purse; maybe it sunk to the bottom of the lake. Everything was okay until Mom realized someone was missing. "Where's Adrienne?" My 3-year-old sister was the only one we couldn't find. Mom was frantic. My brother last saw her under the boat; apparently when the boat turned over, there was space enough to breath and talk. My brother was with her until he couldn't hold on any longer and he told her, "See you later."

We returned to the beach, wet and wild-looking, so funny looking that my father started laughing at us. His laughter turned to tears once Mom told him we couldn't find his daughter. I can barely remember what happened immediately after that, but at some point, my uncle and some others turned over his capsized boat and that's where they found Adrienne, unconsious but alive. She was rushed to the hospital and her stomach was pumped of the water.

Once we survived that boat accident, our family started attending the neighborhood baptist church. I never did learn to swim; the fear of the water stole that from me. And every now and then I think of that incident, and can still hear the sound of the drum beats.

The children that survived Hurricane Katrina won't ever forget their ordeal either. And even though I can't swim, and I'm not too crazy about boats, I am happy that the Lord saved me that day. And you can best believe the survivors will be happy they were saved too.